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Virginia Tech shootings transformed mother's perspective on what tragedy means
On Sunday, April 15, 2007, my husband, Rick, and I received a phone call from our son, Heath. He is a member of the Virginia National Guard, and he had called to inform us that he had just received notification that he and his fellow soldiers would be going to Iraq.
I immediately had that dull numbness that you get when you hear information that isn't pleasant.
This kind of news was no stranger to us because Heath already had served a tour of duty in Afghanistan. At the time of his first deployment in March of 2004, Heath was a Virginia Tech senior majoring in mechanical engineering. He was not to be alone during this deployment because along with him were approximately 50 other VT students who were simultaneously activated. Heath, who had been dating a wonderful Virginia Tech graduate for the past several years, decided that he and Chelsea would marry a mere two weeks before he left for Afghanistan.
That Sunday, April 15, 2007, my mind did an instant replay of many things that recently had occurred. A few months before, in December of 2006, Heath, who had returned from Afghanistan had now graduated from Virginia Tech with his mechanical engineering degree. Because of his National Guard commitment, it had taken him seven years to graduate. But he did it, and we were proud parents!
Shortly after he graduated, he landed a wonderful job, and he and Chelsea bought a home. But that April 15, his news turned tranquility and happiness from all of his recent accomplishments to feelings of dread.
I was so angry! In less than three years of their married life, Heath and his wife, Chelsea, would be separated once again. I know it happens to many military families, but when he enlisted in the Virginia National Guard in 2001, he didn't expect the National Guard to become the "International Guard," as we have come to call it.
I went to bed on April 15 upset, filled with apprehension and fear. I didn't sleep much that night. A mother still feels that protective urge, no matter how old her child.
On Monday, April 16, 2007, I got up feeling tired, emotional. I had a hard time concentrating on my way to work at 7:15 in the morning. As the day developed, I heard, as everyone did, about the horrible tragedy at that had occurred at Virginia Tech.
I called Heath as soon as I could. At the time of my call, he was busy at work on his new job of two months, and he was distraught, as he, too, had heard of the VT events. As the days unfolded, he found out that a few former classmates as well as a professor that he had grown fond of now were listed among the dead.
I remember Heath telling me that the wife of one of his Guardsmen friends had to be escorted out of the VT building where she worked, escorted out over the dead still lying in the hallways. Heath remarked that, "as Guardsmen, we have been trained on how to deal with death, but these people weren't." I realized that, had Heath decided to stay at college and get his master's degree, he would have been in one of those classes.
I learned something from all this. God reminded me that I am not here on this earth by myself and that I needed to stop being so self-centered. I learned that God uses tragedies like that of Virginia Tech to teach us to be mindful of others and to reach out to those who truly are in need of help.
God reminded me of the importance of prayer. He let me know that my bad news of April 15 was just a little pebble on the road of my life when compared to the boulder that hit so many innocent lives that fateful April 16. I soon began to realize that Heath didn't have to go to Iraq to be killed -- he could have been sitting in that classroom. My prayers continue to be with all the families and friends of each of the victims at Virginia Tech.
As I sit here writing this article, Heath is preparing to complete his deployment in Iraq. He already has served about eight months of "Stop Loss" beyond his discharge date. I thank God every moment of every day for his continued safety.
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